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Each Dirty Letter

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by Calamateur

Each Dirty Letter Cover Art
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about
Andrew Howie belongs in that small band of clever singer-songwriter who write sharp, beautiful songs (Ed Harcourt, David Ford, Tom Macrae to name a few)…Mellow yet acid tipped opener Change This World and gossamer-like duet Retreat with Jo Mango show how good this young Scot is. 4/5″
– Scottish Sunday Express

“The dreamy ‘Change This World’ gently hooks you in, then it moves to the soaring, pop infused ‘Banoffee’. Delicate, stripped-back duet ‘Retreat’ with Jo Mango is a real stand out. 4/5″
– Sunday Mail

“…like some of the best singer-songwriters Calamateur really knows how to express his emotions on paper and transform it into music…quite sumptous.”
– Entertainment Focus

“Each Dirty Letter is packed with anthems in waiting, and given a push (or some suitable TV soundtracking), Calamateur will be very very big indeed…Andrew Howie injects his music with a whole lot of heart which puts him head and shoulders above a lot of the competition in the field.”
– Americana UK
credits
released 06 September 2010
All songs written by Andrew Howie.

Produced, engineered, mixed and mastered by Iain Hutchison at Glo-Worm Studio, Glasgow.

Original artwork by Derek Steele:
www.mosteverybodylivestheirlives.blogspot.com

Design by:
www.DUFI-ART.com

(C) 2010 Calamateur
(P) 2010 Calamateur

www.calamateur.com
tags
tags: acoustic alternative electronica indie folk rock singer-songwriter Stirling
license
All rights reserved
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I'm a Scottish music-maker who sings songs about marriage, murder, anger, doubt, imaginary brothers, banoffee pie, bible ... more stories, precipitation and bad architecture.

I've been putting music out since the start of the millenium.

I get bored easily so, infuriatingly for some, find it hard to stick to any one genre; sometimes I'm pretty, well-polished and acoustic. Sometimes I'm angry & electronic. less

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Track Name: Change This World
Change this world I would
Change this world if I could

I drove into the city
I walked into the restaurant
To tell my brother that he
No longer terrified me

I took the time to say it
To work up to the moment
Where courage meets conviction
Where cold facts meet devotion

Change this world I would
Change this world if I could

And when the words escaped he
Realised the fear had left me
He spoke the words so slowly
The truth never hurts nobody

Change this world I would
Change this world if I could

I held the briefcase lightly
It had never been about the money
But to waste it seems a pity
So I drove out of the city
Track Name: Banoffee
You take a magazine off the shelf
Suddenly you feel you should be someone else
But when I see that my heart just melts
Cause I don’t want to spend my life with anybody else

The only one is you
And no one else can do
The things that make me smile
Your love it makes me sing
You light up everything
Your spirit shines for miles

Our friends are laughing as you clean your plate
Cause you’ve always thought banoffee was a place in the States
But your humility which lets them laugh
Is something I wish I could capture like in a photograph

The only one is you
And no one else can do
The things that make me smile
Your love it makes me sing
You light up everything
Your spirit shines for miles

You can’t stay and we can’t stay here forever
You can’t stay and we can’t stay here for long
You can’t stay and we can’t stay together forever
Someday one of us will be left on our own

So let’s not hurry to be old and grey
Let’s break every little rule and transcend every dumb cliché

The only one is you
And no one else can do
The things that make me smile
Your love it makes me sing
You light up everything
Your spirit shines for miles
Your love it makes me sing
You light up everything
Your love
Track Name: Retreat (feat. Jo Mango)
Turn off the light
This headache is blinding my sight
Give me your wrist
So you can't hurt yourself with your fist
All this fear and doubt
Is just trying to fight it’s way out

This box of stones
Made me feel we weren't alone
Now I can't hide
From this thought that we've been filled with lies

Open your eyes
Pull me inside
So I can

Hide with you my love
When our answers are not enough
When we question all we've seen
Come retreat to love with me

That’s where I’ll be
When you can’t understand
Why we think there is more
Than the sleight of our hands
When the curtain comes down
When silence is king
When people are fools
To believe in anything

I’ll hide with you my love
When our answers are no longer enough
When we question all we’ve seen
Come retreat to love with me

I’ll hide with you my love
When our answers are not enough
When we question all we’ve seen
Come retreat
Retreat with me

Turn off the light
This headache is blinding my sight
I dreamed last night
That we fell through the holes in our lives
Track Name: Testimony
I know what you’re gonna say
When things don’t go my way
You say “I don’t fault your faith, I still think that it’s true”

I know what you’re gonna do
When faced with people like me
You say “I don’t know what you want, but this is not what you need”

But I want to know
I want to know

Why everybody looks to the past to be their testimony
When all that I can recall is I was bored and lonely
Tell me what’s wrong with today
Tell me what’s right about tomorrow

And I can’t believe you
When I know that you’re wrong
Why can’t you wake up and see
That we are not who we claimed we could be

I know what you believe
But you’re not the same as me
So don’t push me around and tell me the same old stories

Where everybody looks to the past to be their testimony
When all that I can recall is I was bored and lonely
Tell me what’s wrong with today
Tell me what’s right about tomorrow

Everybody looks to the past to be their testimony
When all that I can recall is I was bored and lonely
Tell me what’s wrong with today
Tell me what’s gonna change tomorrow
Track Name: Sad and Lonely World
Now as then, seven years on
In my heart you are strong
Every day I feel the same
No regrets, nothing’s changed

Still the most beautiful girl
In this sad and lonely world

My eyes are clean, body untouched
Come to me, better come
Every tape, every song
All to say I belong

With the most beautiful girl
In this sad and lonely world

Overtaken by desire
My love is cast in a burning fire
I can’t go forwards won’t go back

Some say we are getting old
Losing beauty in this world
But every night when we pray
I wake up younger every day

In this invisible world
With the most beautiful girl
Track Name: Honestly
I have been this way for forever
Yeah always waiting on your honest reply
What more can I give than my heart, my come and my cry

You didn’t get this far all on your own
You didn’t get this far by leaving home
You didn’t get this far by avoiding my calls

So why can’t you open up your heart
Is being honest all that hard
You have no reason to be scared
Or under prepared

All that I can hear is singing
Sometimes I think I’d rather hear your disgust
At the way that you think you’ve been treated since you rose from the dust

You didn’t get this far all on your own
You didn’t get this far being all alone
You didn’t get this far by pretending I’m dead

So why can’t you open up your heart
Is being honest all that hard
You have no reason to be scared
Or under prepared

You’re telling me lies every single day
Think you’re keeping the peace
You’re only paving the way
For a bitter day
You think I should suffer all over again
Are you my enemy or friend
What you want now is what you’ll get in the end

So why can’t you open up your heart
Is being honest all that hard
You have no reason to be scared

So you’re free to run away from here
Down to the depths I’ll still be near
A simple no is all I need
Honestly
Track Name: City is Mine
I dreamed all your dreams
As a young man
Now I’ve deleted those scenes
I don’t understand
Why you would choose
To model the role
Of the powerful king
Who gives up control

This city is mine
This city is mine
To hide behind

The winter is here
The dark quiet nights
And in them the fear
That one day you might
Break through the defences
That border my land
And pull out my tongue
And cut off my hands

This city is mine
This city is mine
To hide behind

When you come to meet me
All dressed in white
Your eye on the sparrow
Your eyes filled with light
Will you wrap your arms
Round my loveless bones
My vision fuelled heart
That’s turned into stone

This city is mine
This vision
This kingdom
This love
Track Name: A Bad Friend
Nothing makes me shiver with regret like when I think
Of all the friends I’ve had and how I’ve made all their hearts sink
By doing something stupid that could bring things to an end
I’m sorry for being a bad friend

So if I punched you in a rage, did not defend you when attacked
Dropped you for another friend at the drop of a hat
I made you the joke so I was not the one laughed at
I’m sorry for being a bad friend

I always wanted to control you, did not allow you to be free
Undermined your sweet uniqueness, thought that you should be like me
Criticised you for your weaknesses, denied you any grace
I called you the c-word directly to your face
I’m sorry for being a bad friend

A good friend would not have hurt you
A good friend would not have let you down
The way I’ve done

I didn’t send you any invites to the parties that I held
Told all the world the secrets that I’d sworn I wouldn’t tell
Got drunk out of loneliness and scared you with my need
To have someone to hold and who would want to hold me
I’m sorry for being a bad friend

So I believe in God’s forgetfulness but maybe not in yours
If I’ve hurt you then I’m sorry, I hope she can heal the bruise
Her failing memory is a mercy that none of us deserve
Her forgiveness is the road from which now on I will not swerve
I’m sorry for being a bad friend
Track Name: Touch My Skin
I don’t have time for you to be my
Conqueror or conquest, friend or foe
The sun’s coming up now and you’ve got to go

But I don’t want to fight you anymore
Just touch my skin or else I’ll never let go

I can’t decide if I should be afraid
Will you strike me down if I laugh in your face
Beat you till daybreak and kick out your teeth
My knuckles and bones ache but I give no relief

And I don’t want to fight you anymore
Just touch my skin or else I’ll never let go
Ask me my name I’ll tell you each dirty letter
Just promise that you’ll change it to something better

And I thought I couldn’t hurt you
But I could not have been more wrong
Why else would I be holding on

You don’t need protection from people like me
So I’ve stopped pretending to like what I see
I think you’ve a soft spot beneath your thick skin
For people who fight even you for what they believe in

And I don’t want to fight you anymore
Just touch my skin or else I’ll never let go
Ask me my name I’ll tell you each dirty letter
Just promise that you’ll change it to something better
Track Name: A Crumbling Empire
Give me a clean slate
Give me a cold day
Clear skies and sunlight
Fogged breath and frostbite

Breakfast in Brooklyn
The day wasted looking
Over the skyline
The city I’d thought was mine

A packet of Camels
A flask of Jack Daniels
A fire by the lochside
Talking past midnight

My friends keep on calling
On someone who’s fallen
They think I’ve forgotten
Who I’ve turned my back on

And in the silence
In the dark
Under your stars
I give you my heart